He is faithful to perform it…

The Bible tells us: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away; behold, the new has come into being.” And one would think that it is as simple as taking off an old clothe and wearing a new one (preferably white) to never remember what the old looked like or that there was even one. You would think that once you are filled with the Holy Spirit- you are bold, courageous and you can also speak in tongues- nothing can come against you or that you are somewhat immune. Chile, I thought that too. I thought that since I was His beloved child – the deadly desires in me, the temptations, the struggles were all going to go away. Matter fact, I used to thank God for saving me because I & Him were going to be partners and do this thing called life and there was just some stuff I won’t be dealing with, right? Since Mighty God, Papa Jesus, got me covered. Little did I know…

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Now don’t get me wrong, a switch did and is still happening in me (because progressively whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ). Though I fell into the myth that being saved meant that I had to have it all together or I was being a hypocrite. This unspoken expectation of perfection that everyone has about Christians got me tripping for a minute. You know besides my fear of failing at what God might have me here on earth to do ultimately I always have this fear of becoming a blocking stone for other people salvation. I am a strong believer that we are letters of Christ to others. And for weeks, I had been frustrated in my spirit because I couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong with me- the flesh was weak. Do you also have those moments where you just flesh? where you feel like the Spirit just went on vacation or something! Listen for some reason I had all these flaws, temptations and struggles rose up all at once. In my mind, I was like I thought the old was gone?

So I had a bunch of questions for my partner, God , looking at my own life and things that were happening all around me which you probably might have asked too. I wondered : What do you do when the old resurfaces? What do you do when you start struggling with some stuff that only carnal people are supposed to struggle with? What do you do when you love God but you are not sure that you can stop doing *feel in the blank*? What do you do when you cannot ask for help because you are ashamed of your struggles/battles? What do you when the bad attracts you more than the good? What do you do when you want to honor God but your environment does the opposite? Oh yeah, let’s go there. What do you when you love God but you choose sin over Him? In short, what do you do when what you want to do you do not do, but what you hate you do?

One morning, I am getting ready for work, it is a beautiful day. I am hyping myself for the day with some gospel music and I am reminded of the cross – How Jesus died and resurrected. Remember, I had been confused, frustrated but I am very expectant. So I am like: “Yep. He is alive now. so? ” The same is happening to you every day. With each new day, you are given grace and new mercies. You have an opportunity to choose to lay aside every weight from yesterday and to pick up your cross. You get a clean slate at it again to fire your flesh and fully surrender.

So I am dying daily and resurrecting every other day in other words I might have been saved that one day when I proclaimed my faith but there is(/will always be) this conscious daily crucifixion of my flesh that I have to take part in. I might fail at it some days more than others but that doesn’t make me less of a beloved child or less of a Christian. I realized that salvation didn’t make me a saint. Accepting Christ as Your Lord and Savior doesn’t exempt you from anything but it is rather a guarantee of yours that whatever it is through Christ you have victory over it.

Later that day, I got another answer in a form of a song and the song says:

” Sometimes there are obstacles in the road
That can leave you feeling low
And you don’t know how to move forward
And sometimes there are turns you wanna take
But the way gets hard to trace
Now you’re wondering how did you get here
But don’t you give up
Until you see
How God is ordering your steps
So you can walk into your seas

He that has begun
Great work in you
Is faithful to perform it
God is faithful to perform it

I declare
You will know the favor of the Lord
And receive a Hollis for your seed
And in due time
God will blow your mind
With what He planted inside of you
To bless the world as bloom ”

– Great Work By Brian Courtney Wilson

Now more than ever, I am convinced that there is this great great work being done on the inside of all of us. We are all crucifying some. As Ephesians 2:10 says, you and I are God’s workmanship. We are these products of God’s vision (Jeremiah 1:5) and through Christ, He has brought about and continues to bring about, changes in us following His bigger picture (Jeremiah 29:11). I hope you know that there is this great work being done in you and that the one who started is faithful to perform it.

Love & Grace

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I will be my sisters’ keeper…

art-backlit-crescent-moon-556665I know it’s been a while and really shame on me for leaving you hanging like that. I am not like that in real life… I mean it has been above me these past few months but I am back. I once read somewhere that to write well is to think clearly and I believe that the reason why it has taken me almost a year to write on this topic is that I needed to get my mind renewed. Let me tell y’all time is a remedy if I had written this last year it would have been full of it * insert anything opposite to the fruits of the Spirit* It has been an inner battle of mine to get here but I think I am ready to share my thoughts so let’s read self together…

As I am maturing and becoming this mighty woman (can I prophesy to myself?), I am more aware of the importance of girlfriends. I recognize now more than ever their major role in my life. Anybody that knows me well or have been around me for a while would be able to confirm that if need be. I even remember one day my brother and I were fighting over something (probably something he wanted to borrow from me and I refused) and He said to me I bet if it was “X” you would have given it to her… Although He was playing with my feelings, He was right. I would say that was the first time I realize I care about the girls. And for my brother, He got what He wanted just like always (He is a great seller). For real like what would life be without the girls? How could one survive, thrive, conquer, and succeed at this womanhood without other mighty women? Personally, High school would have been hell if I didn’t have my girls around. The ones I was close to as much as the ones I wasn’t close to. If you ask me, I and my girlfriends are some big deals, very very important. Shall Out to y’all by the way!

Over the years, I have had the privilege to have the girlfriends– you know the ones that stick closer than a brother, the ones that I went through thick and thin with (shared the most hilarious moments and the scary ones), the ones that mirrored me so well, the ones that got it first hand, the ones that became Mum Kenta’s self-proclaimed daughters. Man, there is nothing like them. I was once a believer that even though life happens these not only were they not going to change but they will be there forever until proven otherwise. Here is a piece of advice: Don’t you neglect your mother teachings. They have this gift of always being right. Where do they do? *insert eyes rolling* I said this because my mum did warn me but my stubborn self wouldn’t believe her.

I bet you are curious to know why if I had written this last year it would have been full of it? Well, I and my best of a friend went through a rough patch just like any other relationship. There are two sides to the story so it would be unfair to her not to tell her and to you to only hear mine so I won’t even bother telling mine (see what I did there)…Though, I would just say that it was more painful than my break-up with my high school sweetheart. She was my all-time “go-to” for pretty much everything but this time around things was different. I suffered in silence. Listen as much as y’all like to complain that women talk too much – there is power in talking. Any girl would agree with me that ain’t nothing like picking up your phone, call your girl and vent. It is the best therapy ever. The rough patch left me feeling betrayed and very insecure about my friendships. I mean I just don’t think I have time/ energy to do this and for it to get to a point and it is over. At least not with the girls. If I can’t even have a guarantee that the ones in the corner are going to be there then I am done.

I would pray and ask God to help me forgive and move on from this. My broken heart will express the opposite though- anger, confusion and frustration. I would be like ” Jesus how about we just don’t do friendship no more.” I had made up my mind that my friendships would stay at a surface level now. No deepness please even though I don’t know how to do that I was going to learn. What is the point of investing in friendship and getting attached to someone only and it has an expiration date? He was so silent whenever I asked that question.

One day, I was in the park with the girls. In the latest scoop, taking pictures, catching up with one another with their laughter and screams, I couldn’t help myself but admire the uniqueness and beauty of each one of them. When I heard a still small voice saying to me: ” I will need you to be your sisters’ keeper.” I feel and understand your hurt but don’t let it keep you from your purpose. These, my daughters, I intentionally placed them in your life. Don’t let what happened to turn you into someone you are not. You are going against your nature (my nature) and that won’t get you anywhere. They need you as much as you need them. They are in your life to accomplish a specific assignment. I know that you would like to have the same ones forever but some are there for a season, some for a cause, some are just passing by, either way, they are all my vessels. These friendships are my work. Don’t let the enemy deceive you. Don’t let the expiration date dime your light and love others still need it – I am creating a masterpiece out of this! Did I hear an “AMEN”… Then boom I was back to earth. Chilleee, my mind was blown.

Moral of the story: This will be for the girls I guess- I am quite certain that I am not the only one who has felt some type of way regarding these friendships. We love it because it brings the best in us but along the way, it is “full of it” for a lack of better words. There are like good and perfect gifts that require a bit too much work sometimes. Though I would like to submit to y’all that maybe these friendships that we so dearly hold onto are not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out but just like Christ, who said to the disciples, “You did not choose me, but I chose you…” He can say to every squad “You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.” I am convinced that a secret master of ceremonies has been at work in my friendships as much as in yours. They are the instrument by which God shapes, moulds and transforms us through. So how about we enjoy each other and be our sister’s keeper. Yu’all welcomes to join me.

Guard Your Heart!

 

I had just got off the phone with my friend, she was going through a rough time but I was able to ted talk her in having faith that it will all turn out for her good. When this verse was brought up to my memory;

 

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Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”

¦Proverbs 4:23¦

 

 

 

You probably have read, said or heard it many times like me but unfortunately we barely realize the wisdom that is in the verse. Anything that comes in your life to take up space in your heart- Make sure you examine it and test it. Find out its source. There is truly two sources: God or the devil. If it doesn’t come from God, it should not take any room in your heart because if it does- it will kill and destroy you.

FYI: What comes to hinder, kill and destroy you will ALWAYS look good and attractive so don’t be fooled – it may look good or feel good and it can even seem right but if you are honest most of the time you will find yourself adjusting to it rather than it meeting YOU! ANYTHING THAT YOU ADJUST TO IS NOT YOURS!! WHAT IS YOURS WILL MEET YOU (WHERE YOU ARE/AT YOUR LEVEL) BECAUSE IT WAS ASSIGNED TO YOU / CREATED FOR YOU…

The issue that comes with not guarding your heart, therefore accepting the “IT” is that you will most likely find yourself settling for less or even worse of what you were created for. The devil is a liar. He will blind you and separate you from your purpose/ destiny. In this case, your ” It ” because he knows you are a force to be reckoned with. Remember your heart determines the course of your life in other words – Your life will always be a result of your heart condition. You don’t want just anything or anybody to have access to it.

We are called to guard it for a reason far bigger than we think… Moreover, Why do you think God asks for our hearts? Think about it, If the creator of all things wants your heart how precious is it? My prayer is that we will truly be intentional about guarding our hearts. GUARD IT!!!

Love & Grace

 

 

 

 

I talked to God about him

I had made my mind about it. This wasn’t going to work. It couldn’t work. At least, I thought because He didn’t fit the picture in my mind. So I did what I had been doing for quite a while now: “ I talked to God about Him “

Since God and I have been in relationship, we talk a lot. He has taken up quite some space in my life that I have no choice but the privilege to include Him in everything I am about. I am a firm believer that relationships (family, friends or romantic) serve a bigger purpose and assignment than I am able to see or understand so I started to include Him in them too.

To tell on self, I identify myself as a people person a 100 percent but dare you not try me. Because there is a shutdown that happens in me that I have a hard time controlling. Let me just say that I need a little more self-control from the fruits of Spirit in this case. So whenever people try me , I usually run to my go-to people but I realized that they were as human as I am. Plus, it happens that they are the ones trying me that’s when I got convinced I needed a more safer run to person/place (a refuge). I needed an expert to help me deal with people.

So my last resource was God. Isn’t it sad that most of the time He is our last resource instead of being our first one? – He definitely is worthy way worthy to be our first go-to if we are honest. Anyways, when I started talking to God , you wouldn’t believe what I found in Colossians 1:15-17 …

Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation, for through him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see— such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through him and for him. He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together.

And I mean who would you talk to than the one who ” Everything was created through and for Him”. Who is the expert than the one who made things we can see and the things we can’t see. Who holds all creation together. I had found my expert.

So like I was saying I had been talking to God about Him. Couple months later, I was having dinner with some friends, he was there too, he told us some joke and I caught myself laughing at them. I looked over to him and a genuine feeling of acceptance took a hold of me. The picture I had in my mind changed the next week. The expert was at work in me. Yes, that fast.

Now, I have come to like him and I think he is low key one of the funniest person on earth. Though, I have a thought that is always in the back of my mind – Did he talk to God about me too? That could be a possibility. I guess I will ask him one day.

On that note, You know people are very interesting and let alone deal with. Considering that we all have our flaws and shutdowns,… I am curious now : Who is your expert? Who do you talk to? Better yet, Do you talk to God about them? or Him? or Her?…

And just so you know, I talk to God about you (too).

Love & Grace

I wonder …

Sometimes, I wonder what you think about me. I wonder what my friends say about me behind my back.

Sometimes, I wonder if your smile is real or fake. I wonder why you wouldn’t be up-front and honest with me.

Sometimes, I wonder which impression did I leave on you. I wonder which Chelsea have you witnessed.

Sometimes, I wonder who told you about me. I wonder if you judged me from one-side of the story.

Sometimes, I wonder how you know me. I wonder what adjectives/words you attach to my name.

Sometimes…

in my wondering, I realize how important it is for me “To Be”. How crucial it is for me to be unapologetically [not acknowledging or expressing regret] myself while I am becoming the woman God created me to be.

With that being said, in all your thoughts, impressions, and ideas of me, I hope you realize that I am human too. I am not my past. I am not my circumstances.I make mistakes but I am certainly not them. I am just a work in progress – One of His workmanship.

To go a step further, just like a wise woman once said: “ what you invest in me will determine your experience of me.”

C.N

Let us Be about it this year!

Okay. Alright. We are in the 3rd week of January in it!?… Valentine’s Day is in less than a month? And Bae hasn’t find me yet. Sight. Any who, for many of us New Year equals New us with some resolutions for the year ahead. How are you doing with your resolutions? Are you sticking to them or are you starting not to?

 

I do not know about you but I have a different feeling for this year and hey, I probably have said it for 2017 too but it didn’t feel this way … Looking back at 2017 – I didn’t help but notice that I existed, not lived. See there is a difference- existing is to live but not type into all that you are called to be or be your true self whereas living is to live and type into all that you are called to be or be your true self (My beliefs anyways). Still had a great year though, God is good all the time.

 

Hear me out, what I am trying to say is I am tired of saying stuff and not do them. This gazelle lifestyle I am trying to tell you (like Eric Thomas would say)… To say that I am going to stop procrastinating but keep procrastinating, to say that I am going to lose weight but not do anything about it, to say that I am not going to miss any of my classes but be on my phone @2am when I have an 8am class ( May you judge not), to say that I am going to go to church every Sunday but be out Saturday night with my friends (like what do I expect?), to say that I will do this and that and not do it… knowing the right thing to do but making lame excuses to why I can’t or would do it tomorrow – GOT TO STOP THIS YEAR!  I realized I have been much of a talker but less of a doer and even in those things that I was a doer I didn’t go for all that I could get- I settled for safe (who doesn’t like comfort?)

 

 One of my milestone of last year was to be able to read a whole book and I did it. In the conclusion of the book, the author said something that led me to an AHA moment. She said: “The only thing standing in your way right now is “You”. You are the key that opens every door assigned to you! Do whatever it takes to unleash YOU.” Just read it again, let it sink in. I was like are you trying to tell me that I have been standing in my way this whole time? Not them? Not my bank account? Not even the devil? Me??? Are you serious? Okay. That was a turning point. Matter fact that was one of the turning points I had before the end of last year.

 

My Spirit tells me that this year is going to be different and the two weeks I have lived in 2018 has been nothing but confirmation. Plus, there is a certain vibe that y’all spreading… One of my favorite Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts preached and said, I quote “I am tired of praying about it, I am tired of talking about it. I am ready to go to work like never before…” Childdd…

 

I don’t know where y’all at though but I think there is two groups: The first group feels me and what I am saying to you is : “LET’S GET IT. LET’S DO THIS, WE WERE BORN FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS” and the second group already got that AHA moment, what I am saying to you is: “KEEP IT UP. WE ARE ON OUR WAY TOO.”

 

One of the wishes from a friend of mine (for me) was that I overcome my fears this year and that was just what I needed. I wish/pray that you overcome that thing that is holding the incredible person you were created to be.

 

To the best year yet,

Love & Grace.

 

 

 

There is more than what meets the eye…

I used to be a very shy person that was 5mins ago, but I figure that with whatever I am called to be- I have to let go of my shyness. My love of words and my desire to connect with some of you too push me out my comfort zone so here is me. A “Me” I will be discovering along the way with you.

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I will tell you what some facts that I know about “Me”, a little ice breaker, my parents called me Chelsea Nzigamasabo. I have a handsome big head that came after me (my little brother) and two pretty amazing/interesting families each side of my parents (needless to say that Family is everything to me). Friends who are dearest to my heart. I laugh a lot about anything, I am the worse liar you will ever meet. Blue, Orange, Grey & chocolate are my favourite Colors (can’t choose and you know depending on the item). The last but no least there is a Man in Heaven that thought I was worth saving so He sacrificed His life for me and now I live and have my being in Him.

So like the title says those few facts that I just stated are what meets the eye but I think.. no, wait… I know that there is more to “Me”… I have been wanting to do a blog for a couple years now but never had the courage (the devil is a liar) but Today is the day…

In 2018, I made a promise to myself to go after everything that sets my soul on fire and  THIS DOES. Tomorrow isn’t promised and I surely don’t want to get at the end of my life and realize that I didn’t consume all the ressources given to me. So bear with me as I share my journey, my desires, my thoughts, my experiences not because I got all figured it out but I believe in the power of sharing. I believe in the power of telling… which brings me to THANK some of my country people (you know yourselves)  I have been following that are doing it- KEEP IT UP! We read you and we relate . Thanks for standing and telling it like it is.

I am excited and afraid… Great combination,huh

So to the discovering of the more!!!