The Bible tells us: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away; behold, the new has come into being.” And one would think that it is as simple as taking off an old clothe and wearing a new one (preferably white) to never remember what the old looked like or that there was even one. You would think that once you are filled with the Holy Spirit- you are bold, courageous and you can also speak in tongues- nothing can come against you or that you are somewhat immune. Chile, I thought that too. I thought that since I was His beloved child – the deadly desires in me, the temptations, the struggles were all going to go away. Matter fact, I used to thank God for saving me because I & Him were going to be partners and do this thing called life and there was just some stuff I won’t be dealing with, right? Since Mighty God, Papa Jesus, got me covered. Little did I know…
Now don’t get me wrong, a switch did and is still happening in me (because progressively whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ). Though I fell into the myth that being saved meant that I had to have it all together or I was being a hypocrite. This unspoken expectation of perfection that everyone has about Christians got me tripping for a minute. You know besides my fear of failing at what God might have me here on earth to do ultimately I always have this fear of becoming a blocking stone for other people salvation. I am a strong believer that we are letters of Christ to others. And for weeks, I had been frustrated in my spirit because I couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong with me- the flesh was weak. Do you also have those moments where you just flesh? where you feel like the Spirit just went on vacation or something! Listen for some reason I had all these flaws, temptations and struggles rose up all at once. In my mind, I was like I thought the old was gone?
So I had a bunch of questions for my partner, God , looking at my own life and things that were happening all around me which you probably might have asked too. I wondered : What do you do when the old resurfaces? What do you do when you start struggling with some stuff that only carnal people are supposed to struggle with? What do you do when you love God but you are not sure that you can stop doing *feel in the blank*? What do you do when you cannot ask for help because you are ashamed of your struggles/battles? What do you when the bad attracts you more than the good? What do you do when you want to honor God but your environment does the opposite? Oh yeah, let’s go there. What do you when you love God but you choose sin over Him? In short, what do you do when what you want to do you do not do, but what you hate you do?
One morning, I am getting ready for work, it is a beautiful day. I am hyping myself for the day with some gospel music and I am reminded of the cross – How Jesus died and resurrected. Remember, I had been confused, frustrated but I am very expectant. So I am like: “Yep. He is alive now. so? ” The same is happening to you every day. With each new day, you are given grace and new mercies. You have an opportunity to choose to lay aside every weight from yesterday and to pick up your cross. You get a clean slate at it again to fire your flesh and fully surrender.
So I am dying daily and resurrecting every other day in other words I might have been saved that one day when I proclaimed my faith but there is(/will always be) this conscious daily crucifixion of my flesh that I have to take part in. I might fail at it some days more than others but that doesn’t make me less of a beloved child or less of a Christian. I realized that salvation didn’t make me a saint. Accepting Christ as Your Lord and Savior doesn’t exempt you from anything but it is rather a guarantee of yours that whatever it is through Christ you have victory over it.
Later that day, I got another answer in a form of a song and the song says:
” Sometimes there are obstacles in the road
That can leave you feeling low
And you don’t know how to move forward
And sometimes there are turns you wanna take
But the way gets hard to trace
Now you’re wondering how did you get here
But don’t you give up
Until you see
How God is ordering your steps
So you can walk into your seas
He that has begun
Great work in you
Is faithful to perform it
God is faithful to perform it
You will know the favor of the Lord
And receive a Hollis for your seed
And in due time
God will blow your mind
With what He planted inside of you
To bless the world as bloom ”
– Great Work By Brian Courtney Wilson
Now more than ever, I am convinced that there is this great great work being done on the inside of all of us. We are all crucifying some. As Ephesians 2:10 says, you and I are God’s workmanship. We are these products of God’s vision (Jeremiah 1:5) and through Christ, He has brought about and continues to bring about, changes in us following His bigger picture (Jeremiah 29:11). I hope you know that there is this great work being done in you and that the one who started is faithful to perform it.
Love & Grace